Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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