In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
