just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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