More tranny stories later!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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