She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
