Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
