was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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