yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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