Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
