Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
