I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
