Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
