well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
