Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
