Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So here I am, sexting at work.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
