how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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