It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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