we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
