Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
