I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
