One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
