I looked at my own cervix.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
whose parrot is this?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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