I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
