I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
