he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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