so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
