I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How naked do you want me to be?
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