Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
