Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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