Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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