I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
What a fucking waste of an outfit
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
