so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it's great music for shaving your balls
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The adults are the big ones right?
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