break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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