just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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