i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
