Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
