also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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