He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
