Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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