Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
