I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
