Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
