p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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