Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
