Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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