turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
