your parents love me but you hate me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
