Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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