I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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