Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
