Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
