Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
